Beautifully, beautifully written Sophie! This is Chitra by the way! I had a similar experience to you….I always wanted to have a child and had a series of bad relationships. I could have pursued having a child on my own, but after a lot of emotional and heart- wrenching soul searching, I felt that it was not the path for me- a decision that I have questioned at times but ultimately feel was probably for the best. Everything you so eloquently said is true. There is so much pain for women around this issue, and the more we all talk about it the better it will be for all women. I am thrilled for you that you are trying to do this solo-you are so emotionally aware and will make an excellent mum!! Best of luck to you and will follow you along on your journey!❤️❤️
Chitra! So lovely to hear from you and thank you for sharing your story. I am actually not going for a baby solo... I now have a wonderful partner so let's see what happens. Thank you for your very kind words! Missing you in the group. Heaps of love and hope you are really well. xxx
Very much appreciate this. I would love to see a NYT article entitled "women thriving in later motherhood." There is such limited positive association and messaging around how motherhood after what is considered advanced maternal age is actually self-reflective, responsible, and an approach that can be the most positively impactful for society. I had my now 9 month-old-son when I was 41 years old and I could not have made a better decision. I had the time to finish my PhD, have a thriving career that provides not only financial stability but self-worth and purpose. Most importantly, I did an obnoxious amount of soul work before having him that resulted in a secure attachment style, establishing healthy habits, learning how to self-regulate and emotionally process things, and pick a secure, healthy relationship. My child (and the world he interacts with on a daily basis), will as a result benefit from this choice. My 25-year-old self would have recreated the generational cycles I was still in. There is nothing I am more proud of. To be able to see that work reflected in my child on a daily basis is MOTHERHOOD with big woman pants on - the only kind I am interested in being.
No I love how to the point this is! I was thinking about you recently Dominic and I wanted to email you about a couple of things - are you still on the same email address?
I think this is a major social issue that is deeply complex. Back in our parents day men were providers and women were nurturers. Women on the whole could trust men would provide (excluding instances of toxic masculinity where there was abuse and control). The push of feminism in the 90s saw the rise of corporate slogans and education systems pushing women to value careers at the expense of being a mother... Fear tactics like “have your own money” = control and empowerment. Most modern men expect women to work and pay 50/50 now. Women are judged if they choose stay at home mum life. Many men have lost their natural connection to divine masculine to be a provider and protector. We have a total imbalance. Women working like men to have what men have. What men have is actually unsustainable and is toxic masculinity not true divine masculinity. No family unit. Real feminism wouldn’t ask a woman to give up her feminine and divine right as a creator of life (should she choose that path) to make money. This is a major social, economic and political issue. It needs a huge shift in consciousness. I think we need to talk more about helping men to step into divine masculine, only then will there be balance.
Anna I love your take on this and agree with everything you say. You are right, it's deeply complex and is a major issue that needs a complete shift in consciousness. So many of the women I work with are starting to embracer their feminine energy after years of being in their masculine. It's something I have had to work on too. Thank you for taking the time to comment. Means a lot. xx
Thank you for writing this. The inflammatory ‘attention grabbing’ style of media these days really needs to be held to account for making statements that are misguided, biased, short sighted, and moreover, very sensitive. Our generation of women aged 30-45ish have been fed a narrative of hustle, independence, and career success which albeit a positive step away from gender stereotypes in some ways, has not been accompanied by the removal of the rhetoric around childbearing, home making responsibilities, and unhealthy aesthetics, which has created a generation of mentally and physically destroyed and confused women who are trying to do it all, and opting out of any piece of that is perceived by them (and potentially society) as failure or ‘giving up’. We have been set up to fail and it’s taking a few women like you, to speak up about this and make courageous choices to make a stand against socio cultural expectations and pave a new way forward. We need men to understand this, beyond those who are seeing the effects on their partners, and help us carve a new path of optionality and support for the next generation of women to allow them to make authentic and considered choices that are right for them. Please keep speaking up x
Sarah thank you for writing such an eloquent comment. Thank you for supporting me, I needed it today as it felt scary to post something like this. I so agree with the fact that this has created a generation of mentally and physically destroyed and confused women. xxx
Aww Danielle thank you so much for commenting and for supporting this! Please do share with all your friends - I think this is SO important to change the narrative on this. xxx
Beautifully, beautifully written Sophie! This is Chitra by the way! I had a similar experience to you….I always wanted to have a child and had a series of bad relationships. I could have pursued having a child on my own, but after a lot of emotional and heart- wrenching soul searching, I felt that it was not the path for me- a decision that I have questioned at times but ultimately feel was probably for the best. Everything you so eloquently said is true. There is so much pain for women around this issue, and the more we all talk about it the better it will be for all women. I am thrilled for you that you are trying to do this solo-you are so emotionally aware and will make an excellent mum!! Best of luck to you and will follow you along on your journey!❤️❤️
Chitra! So lovely to hear from you and thank you for sharing your story. I am actually not going for a baby solo... I now have a wonderful partner so let's see what happens. Thank you for your very kind words! Missing you in the group. Heaps of love and hope you are really well. xxx
Ahhhh Sophie- so sorry I misunderstood! So happy for you!!!❤️
Very much appreciate this. I would love to see a NYT article entitled "women thriving in later motherhood." There is such limited positive association and messaging around how motherhood after what is considered advanced maternal age is actually self-reflective, responsible, and an approach that can be the most positively impactful for society. I had my now 9 month-old-son when I was 41 years old and I could not have made a better decision. I had the time to finish my PhD, have a thriving career that provides not only financial stability but self-worth and purpose. Most importantly, I did an obnoxious amount of soul work before having him that resulted in a secure attachment style, establishing healthy habits, learning how to self-regulate and emotionally process things, and pick a secure, healthy relationship. My child (and the world he interacts with on a daily basis), will as a result benefit from this choice. My 25-year-old self would have recreated the generational cycles I was still in. There is nothing I am more proud of. To be able to see that work reflected in my child on a daily basis is MOTHERHOOD with big woman pants on - the only kind I am interested in being.
I absolutely love this. So inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing this. I resonate so deeply with what you have said. xx
Love this!
thank you for taking the time to read!
Spot on! It’s complete BS (sorry to not be more eloquent!).
No I love how to the point this is! I was thinking about you recently Dominic and I wanted to email you about a couple of things - are you still on the same email address?
Hi Sophie! Yes, still got the same email address.
I think this is a major social issue that is deeply complex. Back in our parents day men were providers and women were nurturers. Women on the whole could trust men would provide (excluding instances of toxic masculinity where there was abuse and control). The push of feminism in the 90s saw the rise of corporate slogans and education systems pushing women to value careers at the expense of being a mother... Fear tactics like “have your own money” = control and empowerment. Most modern men expect women to work and pay 50/50 now. Women are judged if they choose stay at home mum life. Many men have lost their natural connection to divine masculine to be a provider and protector. We have a total imbalance. Women working like men to have what men have. What men have is actually unsustainable and is toxic masculinity not true divine masculinity. No family unit. Real feminism wouldn’t ask a woman to give up her feminine and divine right as a creator of life (should she choose that path) to make money. This is a major social, economic and political issue. It needs a huge shift in consciousness. I think we need to talk more about helping men to step into divine masculine, only then will there be balance.
Anna I love your take on this and agree with everything you say. You are right, it's deeply complex and is a major issue that needs a complete shift in consciousness. So many of the women I work with are starting to embracer their feminine energy after years of being in their masculine. It's something I have had to work on too. Thank you for taking the time to comment. Means a lot. xx
Thank you for writing this. The inflammatory ‘attention grabbing’ style of media these days really needs to be held to account for making statements that are misguided, biased, short sighted, and moreover, very sensitive. Our generation of women aged 30-45ish have been fed a narrative of hustle, independence, and career success which albeit a positive step away from gender stereotypes in some ways, has not been accompanied by the removal of the rhetoric around childbearing, home making responsibilities, and unhealthy aesthetics, which has created a generation of mentally and physically destroyed and confused women who are trying to do it all, and opting out of any piece of that is perceived by them (and potentially society) as failure or ‘giving up’. We have been set up to fail and it’s taking a few women like you, to speak up about this and make courageous choices to make a stand against socio cultural expectations and pave a new way forward. We need men to understand this, beyond those who are seeing the effects on their partners, and help us carve a new path of optionality and support for the next generation of women to allow them to make authentic and considered choices that are right for them. Please keep speaking up x
Sarah thank you for writing such an eloquent comment. Thank you for supporting me, I needed it today as it felt scary to post something like this. I so agree with the fact that this has created a generation of mentally and physically destroyed and confused women. xxx
Thank you so much for this article! This is everything!!! I want everyone I know to read this!
Aww Danielle thank you so much for commenting and for supporting this! Please do share with all your friends - I think this is SO important to change the narrative on this. xxx