Is it worry? Stress? Or overwhelm?
And why it makes a difference!
Hey!
I am excited this week to be offering you a yoga class and a meditation… but before we get to that…
I firstly wanted to remind you that all paid subscribers get access to our book club - we have a book club meeting tomorrow at 7pm UK time. Please click here to view the key details and the book themes we will be exploring as well as the zoom link.
Having just moved into our new flat I am writing this on Monday (yesterday) afternoon feeling exhausted but extremely happy. Cup of tea by my side and sitting at the kitchen island I am so excited for this new chapter. (I have always dreamed of having a kitchen island!)
Those of you who know me well know that having worried incessantly to the point of illness I have really adapted my way of thinking over the last 10 years. However more recently my mind has been going a bit bonkers with an endless to do list. Having felt my way through the emotions coming up, I have realised that what I am feeling is definitely less worry and more stress. I thought it was overwhelm at first but then I remembered Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart… she defines these three emotional states very differently.
Worry is “a chain of negative thoughts about bad things that might happen in the future.”
Stress is when “we evaluate environmental demand as beyond our ability to cope successfully.”
Overwhelm is “an extreme level of stress, an emotional and/or cognitive intensity to the point of feeling unable to function.”
I think it’s really important to recognise that we sometimes use these terms mistakenly. Being able to define what you are feeling is a skill that most of us haven’t learnt. If we learn to differentiate our emotions and get truly honest with how we feel (without dramatising things!) then we can learn the proactive solutions to easing ourselves out of these difficult emotions. Each emotion calls for a different solution.
Read more here in terms of the solutions to overwhelm and stress.
For now, I want to talk more about worry.
Worry is a natural part of being human, but when left unchecked, it can become a powerful source of suffering. At its core, worry is our mind’s attempt to control the uncontrollable — a constant search for certainty in an uncertain world. And yet, as spiritual leaders and psychologists have taught for years, it’s often not the situation itself that causes our distress, but the thoughts we attach to it.
Please check out my workshop: Finding Your Inner Compass - 3 steps to transform your anxiety into a superpower. This is a 60 min workshop that is free to all of you who have a paid subscription to The Class You Missed. Click here to see all my available workshops.
As Eckhart Tolle puts it, “Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose.” This speaks to the illusion of worry — the belief that by thinking through every possible outcome, we’ll somehow protect ourselves from pain. But in reality, the more we worry, the more we suffer. Our thoughts become an endless cycle of fear and doubt, rarely leading to resolution and often robbing us of peace in the present moment. This is one of the reasons I am so into meditation! It really helps you detach from the endless cycle of worry and pulls you out of the spiraling storm.
One of the reasons worry feels so horrible is because of something called confirmation bias. This is our brain’s tendency to seek out information that supports what we already believe — even if those beliefs are negative or irrational. When we worry, our minds look for evidence that things will go wrong, reinforcing our fears and creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we believe the world is dangerous or that we’re not good enough, we’ll interpret every setback as proof of that belief. We will take things personally when they don’t need to be personal. “Why do bad things always happen to me?” Ever said that in your head? I have, millions of times!
The Buddhist perspective on worry and suffering offers really helpful insights. Buddhism teaches that suffering arises from attachment — not just to people or possessions but to our thoughts and desires. We become attached to outcomes and fearful of possibilities, creating suffering from situations that haven’t even happened.
A key step in moving beyond worry is recognising that we are not our thoughts. This is a foundational principle in many spiritual traditions. Michael Singer, author of The Untethered Soul, (one of my favourite books!) suggests observing our thoughts rather than being swept away by them:
“There is nothing more important to true growth than realising that you are not the voice of the mind — you are the one who hears it.”
-Michael Singer
The most peaceful people in the world aren’t those who are just naturally super chilled — they’re those who’ve learned to manage their thoughts with compassion and awareness. It’s a skill that takes daily steps, it’s not something that happens over night.
I love this quote from the Dalai Lama:
“If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it.
If it can’t be solved, worrying will do no good.”
The Dalai Lama
So how can we begin to break free from the grip of worry? It starts with awareness. Notice when your mind starts spinning stories of fear and doubt. Actively ask yourself if your thoughts are facts or assumptions. Challenge your confirmation bias and ask yourself:
Am I seeking out the stress in this situation?
Is there another way to look at this?
Are there any other possible alternatives?
What would be the solution if I had to come up with one?
Is this worth my peace?
Ultimately, worry loses its power when we stop feeding it with attention. By managing our minds with kindness, we can begin to cultivate a life of greater peace and ease. As Rumi so beautifully said, “Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead, let life live through you.”
Wiggling Through Worry: A yoga & meditation practice.
Below is a 5 minute meditation and a 25 minute yoga practice to help with your worry. This is available to pay subscribers only. If you have read this and found it useful, I would love you to consider becoming a paid subscriber at as little as £3.33 a month!
