The avoidant in the relationship
And a deep share from me.
October 15th 7pm UK time
FREE Workshop FINDING YOUR INNER COMPASS
Last few spots left - I don’t know when I will next be doing a workshop like this again so grab the chance now!
When I realised that throughout my life I had been in relationships with men who had an avoidant attachment style, I decided I needed to understand more about this. Why was I going for someone avoidant and what did it really mean?
I have since learnt that ideally we start to become securely attached ourselves and a great way to do this is not only work on your own insecurities but also to meet someone secure. In my experience, someone secure is not going to go for someone super anxious or super avoidant, it’s just not an attractive match for them. So this is where we have to dig deep, face our fears, our deepest flaws and get to figuring this stuff out…not just mentally but on a much deeper level.
Put it this way, if you are avoidant or anxiously attached, learn what your own red flags are in order to meet someone who is going to be really nourishing for your nervous system, rather than totally wrecking it.
In this post I will go through what avoidant attachment is, where it comes from, the five ways it might be showing up in your relationship, the anxious / avoidant dance and finally the six ways in which you can start to heal this patterning.
I will also be talking about an incredibly painful moment for me related to avoidant attachment - a moment that when I look back, although my world horrendously fell apart in a five minute conversation (which ended up in a divorce). Looking back, I can see how my attachment style came in to play as well and how I needed to take responsibility for this.
I truly believe that understanding your attachment style is a HUGE gateway to finding or developing a more peaceful, healthy, fun, joyful, deeply connecting relationship. And what’s the measure of a life well lived? A life with wonderful relationships.
So buckle up, grab your cuppa, please put your emails / WhatsApp to the side, as we delve deeper into this topic together.