"Be here now."
Motherhood, distractions & presence.
Last week, Wilfie and I escaped the heatwave in London and spent some time in Oxfordshire with family. I am finding more and more that the simple things in life are what really make me tick. The countryside exaggerates this for me - homecooked meals, walks down country lanes, the quiet, the birdsong, fresh mint tea from the garden, picking flowers with my dad, afternoon naps, a glass of wine as the sun starts to set. And the real winner, smiles from Wilfie that are starting to turn into laughs.
It was bliss.
As a new mum I find that every task is a half finished one. Which means multiple times as day I am distracted by the things that I suddenly remember have not been done. Messaging someone, ordering something off amazon, asking someone for advice, drinking my cup of tea (that is now cold), taking the washing out (that has now been sitting in the washer for hours)… the list is endless!
It’s frustrating because I end up feeling distracted a lot of the time.
AND at the same time, I have never ever felt more present.
I am so present to Wilfie that it’s like the future doesn’t matter so much. I don’t want to miss this moment because it feels so special. Like I am watching the most magical thing unfold infront of me. He seems sort of mysterious to me… I look at him and think: “how the hell did I create that?!”
AND then suddenly another distraction pops in my head… it’s like a game of ping pong.
Super present.
Write that thank you letter.
Super present.
Order Wilfie a sunhat.
Super present.
Need to wash my breast pads as I am running out.
Super present.
I must cut his fingernails so he doesn’t scratch his face again.
Super present.
And it goes on!
The last 5 days in the coutryside have helped me be less distracted. There’s something about being out of your own home where your mind gets some respite. I have been listening to Ram Dass’ lecture called “Here We All Are” and unfortunately have not only NOT quite finished it yet, but have also have had to listen over multiple sessions! I keep having to press pause as I either fall asleep or am needed by Wilfie. I sort of wonder whether he is listening to it too as we doze off together.
Nevertheless, it has been a wonderful listen and has helped me understand presence on an even deeper level than ever before.
One of my favourite quotes:
Don’t think about the past. Just be here now.
Don’t think about the future. Just be here now.
If you can be here now, when then is now you will have super consciousness and super energy and you will know just what to do.
About 5 years ago, I rememeber speaking to a coach about a difficult conversation I needed to have. After I had rambled on going over all my ruminations about what to say and how exactly to say it… she simply reminded me that in the moment I would know what to say and that I didn’t need to plan it. I remember thinking:
“What do you mean?! No I won’t! I’m terrified of how this conversation is going to go so I need to plan it, and rehearse it, and make sure I get my words exactly right.”
She said to me, something along the lines of: “you don’t need to plan it. Trust that the words will come with the intention you want to have.”
It’s the same idea that Ram Dass is speaking about. If you can be here now, without worrying about the past or fearing the future, you will have the wisdom to say what needs to be said when the time comes. Planning is futile because things are forever in flux and so what you might want to say now won’t necessarily be appropriate for the future you.
Allowing yourself to be in the present moment develops self-trust, creativity, intuition and inner wisdom. These qualities help us live a more meaningful and connected life.
Ram Dass also speaks about the present moment being vital for “moksha”, which means freedom or liberation. He speaks about Buddha’s four noble truths:
Life is suffering - to live is to suffer.
Desire is the root of suffering.
Desirelessness will free you from suffering.
The eightfold path of yoga is the way to desirelessness.
"Desire is a trap; desirelessness is moksha, or liberation; desire is the creator, desire is the destroyer, desire is the universe."
By living in the present moment, accepting things as they are, and recognising that suffering often arises from our resistance to what is, we can attain a state of moksha. By indulging in thoughts of the past and the future we create a never ending trap for ourselves. The present moment is freedom.
So the answer is: just be present! Easy to say, harder to do.
Right now I am using an affirmation when I am pulled out of the present that is helping me hugely.
I am loving awarness. I am loving awarness. I am loving awareness.
Click here if you would like to listen to the Ram Dass lecture.
With that in mind I would like to invite you to practice a meditation with me called “Learning To Surrender.” I recorded it back in 2020 when my life looked very different. I was in the midst of a sudden divorce and leaning into the present moment was all I felt I could do at such an uncetrain and hard time. It was funny listening to it back, realising how much beauty has since come from the struggles, and the ability to be present.
A final little reminder to you all, our very early bird pricing for my Portugal retreat ends on July 1st. Click here to chat to me on whatsapp about it
As always, if this has been a helpful read, please comment below. It’s lovely to hear from you.
Sophie xxx
There’s a quiet paradox here that I really appreciate — how the presence you’re describing isn’t pristine or perfectly still, but threaded through interruptions, baby fingernails, tea gone cold, and Ram Dass being paused mid-thought. And yet, somehow, it’s more real because of that.
What you’re articulating isn’t just presence — it’s integration. The kind that doesn’t require silence to access stillness or spiritual conditions to touch something true. It’s the kind of presence that includes the crying, the laundry, the breast pads, and still opens up the mystery: how the hell did I create that?
This feels like the real practice: not detaching from the moment, but living inside it without needing it to be different. You’ve captured that beautifully.